According to a recent study on retirement savings from the Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, median retirement savings are paltry in almost every age group: For someone whose savings is close to the median in any age group, helping with college costs is probably a bad idea. Hi Dave. Please have a cell phone that you usually answer. I’d say my parents were a four. Do you feel your essays reflected your writing style, your aspirations, your goals? For students, the high school years can be a whirlwind of growth, enlightenment…and stress. You can reassure them that there are a lot of right choices, and talk with them to prioritize what they want in a school. If an essay is too “polished” it may seem inauthentic, creating confusion in the reader. In the end, I think my essays should have been more me. There is a certain “voice” that defines a young person about to start college and if it is lacking in an essay, Admissions Directors will quickly pick it up. The College Application Process has greatly changed in the past 25 years. I think in today’s world it’s probably unbelievable to an admissions official that someone–parent, English teacher, essay coach, guidance counselor –DID NOT read and help “proof” the student’s essay. Of course you do. The bottom line is, if they don’t finish the applications and essays, they won’t be admitted to school. Yes, I would help my child write their essay ! I think her son will understand more if she will be the one to explain and correct her son’s essay. I struggled to follow the advice of my guidance counselor and my mother, and tried to arrive at topics that would appeal to colleges. You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay … I know this is the touchiest of topics, but I always beg parents to believe in their child. Offer to serve as an “administrative aide” to your child as he or she begins researching and planning college visits in the spring. You will also gain personal satisfaction from the many thank you letters that you will receive from the students whom you have helped. With time and compound interest on your side, you could build up a sizable savings of invested funds to help cover college tuition, fees, and room and board. Jake relates to us his essay writing experiences and the impact his mother’s help had on the process. Your email address will not be published. CONNECT WITH OTHER PARENTS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT. How Can I Listen to SiriusXM On My Computer. And while appealing to colleges is obviously the end goal, I think my writing would have been better served had I reflected more about myself, rather than reflecting on what I thought colleges should see in myself. Please forward your college admission essay and/or personal statement and we will get in touch soon.” While parents mean well, any constructive feedback may be misinterpreted, creating conflict at what can already be a stressful time. Having said that, I would believe that the admissions professional may find your essay refreshingly imperfect and forgive the the occasional spelling or grammar gaffe, if the essay is highly unique, insightful or humorous, or just demonstrates great writing and self perception. [Need a college planning checklist for 11th grade?]. And don’t buy it off the Internet. Attending a private four-year college, on the other hand, cost students $48,510 per year. Detailed Answer:
But parents should not to take over any part of the process. Zaragoza Guerra is a member of College Coach’s team of college admissions experts. And those professional services have quite a lot of chutzpah too, if I may use that word. I write about personal finance, college and student loan debt. I never read a word. Admissions officers are looking for something, anything, to distinguish your essay from the pile. Further, if you have parents who know grammar and writing conventions and can recognize flaws, go ahead and ask parents to help. I think it is always best for a student to have an impartial person do the proofing. © 2020 Road2College. “I will help him if he asks but I’m not going to spend the next year nagging him. prepare a spread-sheet or set up a chart or calendar for important college application, testing, visit and scholarship deadlines and requirements. Ask them if it sounds like you. Suggesting that he write it, print it, and read it after a few days off is just good parenting, and perhaps I’d go as far as to say showing him how to work with a spell checking program and grammar checking tool could help him improve his prose too. That being said, I do now wish I had more freedom to write about what I wanted to write about, instead of what my mother thought colleges wanted to hear. © 2020 Forbes Media LLC. Preferably not. So we should not expect perfection of college applicants who come from widely varying backgrounds and widely varying schools. However, they should not write or re-write the essay. But the main idea behind any essay is that it should reveal something of the writer’s (in this case, the student’s) character and parents can easily hinder that process if they edit too much. My kids have worked too hard in high school to go to a college that won’t reward them with merit. It’s a very expensive investment that has many, Help them understand how much schools cost, the amount of, One area that you should consider holding back in is whether your student even, College Planning Checklist For 9th & 10th Grade, College Planning Checklist for 11th Grade, College Planning Checklist for 12th Grade, letting your child step out on their own with college, parents worrying about who is going to pay for it and how. He or she isn’t a full-fledged literary genius (in most cases) and the admission officers who read the essays are well aware of this. Using cash savings to help pay for college is one thing, but what happens when parents borrow the money? Parents seem a little too willing to forgo their own goals and even borrow money to help with school. While it is okay to have a parent proof an essay, they are not always the best option. Colleges get suspicious when they receive an essay that sounds like a PhD wrote it. Follow me on Instagram. Get matched to scholarships that are perfect for you! By providing information or agreeing to be contacted by a Sponsored School, you are in no way obligated to apply to or enroll with the school. I also help parents make smart choices about college financing options and navigating the complex world of paying for school. If your parents fit the bill, there’s no reason they shouldn’t help you polish your essay, but students often find it easier to work with a teacher, counselor or other adult. Not what anyone else writes including your parent. It’s only natural. Helping pay for college is a nice gesture, but you have to remember that your adult child can borrow money to finish college but you can’t borrow money for retirement. Many times however, when a parent tries to help, they do more harm than good. To learn more about me, go to TheCollegeInvestor.com, or follow me on Twitter @collegeinvestin. Reading essays is what they do for a living! The bottom line is, if they don’t finish the applications and essays, they won’t be admitted to school. Creating the final College List mandates parent involvement because of the significant financial implications involved. Short Answer:
College Admissions Officers want prospective students to contact them, not you. Assist, guide and help are acceptable action verbs during the College Admissions Process. The report shows that 65 percent of parents are stressed over having enough money to help, which is a 10 percent increase from last year. Make smarter college financial decisions. It’s not about the parents! But when parents start “re-writing,” it becomes a slippery slope. I don’t see why the parent can’t do the same. They have a good knack of distinguishing an essay written by a 17 year old, from one written or extensively edited by a parent (or worse, a parent trying to sound like a 17 year old)! Of course there is a not-so-fine line between providing constructive feedback and editing suggestions vs. a complete essay reflecting in now way the efforts or ability of the purported author. Remember that they’re very experienced at reading high school student essays (it’s their job, and they review thousands).
If you decide to bring up application essays with your junior, do it casually, in response … A smart kid will learn something from that and hopefully carry it forward. — A good editor knows how to help you write in your own voice, so when you read your essay it sounds like you, not like someone else. We have to be careful to let our children choose their lives, rather than trying to live it for them. Hold Back: Applications and Essays. Of course, care should be taken to use and spell words correctly and to employ well-structured sentences and paragraphs, but the student should avoid using an over-abundance of words that have been pulled out of a thesaurus just to make him-/herself sound erudite. However, you do want the essays to sound like you; it should be your voice. The amount depends on the complexity of the project.” If you’re comfortable, have your teen sit with you and help them see the details and work that goes into the decision. The emphasis must be on “help” and not, “take over.” Parents, with only the best intentions, will often offer lots of input and comments, which their child will gratefully accept. Future doctors, be sure to tune in for this segment of, Denied from your first choice college? As a parent, these years can be a difficult as well. They have a good knack of distinguishing an essay written by a 17 year old, from one written or extensively edited by a parent (or worse, a parent trying to sound like a 17 year old)! Let’s explore some different ways you can help – and hold back – during the college process. Each year that goes by has you watching your baby grow up and move on into their own life. Is it okay for parents to help edit their child’s college essay? Most of the time I see that parents get into an essay and take away the student voice…they make it too polished for a high school student. They can help catch spelling or punctuation mistakes or help a student better clarify an idea that isn’t fully fleshed out in the early draft. (“the question prompts you to write about your neighborhood, so why don’t you tighten that up a bit more.) While a parent can serve as a proofreader for your essay and perhaps offer you a perspective on how it reads, it is never ok for the parent to author it or extensively edit it. I was always thought that review was a crucial part of the writing process. Do Not Sell My Personal Information (CA and NV residents). Zaragoza previously worked as a senior admissions officer at MIT, Caltech, and The Boston Conservatory. Yes! There are many, many options and a student may feel that if they don’t make the “one perfect choice” their life will be ruined. That’s highly recommended if they’re experts in grammar, and under NO circumstances should anyone but the student WRITE the essay! The admissions officers reads as 1 out of 1000’s and possibly even 10,000 or more. It is very easy for a rep to recognize an essay that has been coached (or even written by) someone other than the student. Many high school seniors have innate abilities but don’t yet know how to channel them; others are still emotionally immature at that age; still others have the burden of after-hours work in poor families. Taking a year off can help your child earn money and save for college. Students may ask their parents for editing the essay, however, they better off asking their English teacher for such task. That DOES NOT mean that anyone should write it for you, or dictate it to you while you copy it down word for word and say you wrote it. But resist the urge to rewrite everything in the way you might express it. Of course not. Plus, the difference in college tuition and fees can be strikingly drastic from school to school and place to place. Not only are parents borrowing money to get their kids through college, but more and more aging adults are heading back to school to increase their job prospects. According to the story, Haydee Cruz borrowed around $160,000 in Parent PLUS loans from the government to help her daughter get through school. If you want to help your college student get through school without crushing student loan debt, there are plenty of ways to do just that without wrecking your own financial goals. As a national expert on college application essays, I travel around the country speaking to parents, schools, and communities about college application essays. Dave, I’ve got a bit of a dilemma. Parents are also a great second pair of eyes for grammar and spelling errors. Essays help you stand out from the rest. It is okay for a parent to review a child’s essay; it is not okay for a parent to take over a child’s essay, tell her what words to use, what story to write, what message to send. How to Search for Posts Within a Facebook Group? As a result, senior citizens ages 60 to 69 owed a collective $85.4 billion toward student loans at last count. They don’t write phrases or sentences for you. ... She wrote the essays and got the applications together. Volunteer Work. Admissions officers are a smart bunch! Students are encouraged to be creative and take risks with their application essays, and conflict inevitably rises from that risk taking. This web site is for the purpose of disseminating information for educational purposes, free of charge, for the benefit of all visitors. They should be formulated in the way in which the student would write naturally and should be focused on issues or themes that the student has chosen as being of relevance to him-/herself. Then, and only then, will you be in a position to help anyone else. You’ll also have to fill out a lot of financial paperwork before your student can apply for loans, merit aid, and scholarships. Assist, guide and help are acceptable action verbs during the College Admissions Process. Making the wrong decisions could saddle them with debt for decades. Any insight? Avoid believing that they will, and focus your attention on activities (and studying) that will improve your admissions chances. The tips below will help you win big with your essay. Become an educated consumer of higher ed. However, the key is to edit, not to write them for you. I also help parents make smart. I’d say it was strained, but in a good way. They can help with typos, grammatical errors, and help you to be clear, concise and compelling. Parents can help their child brainstorm topics, encourage them to write multiple drafts, and help him or her meet deadlines. How should they “help” their children? yes, it is ok as long as an essay of their child reflects the inner world of the child, not that of parents. What’s your opinion on this? There should be some consistency between the essays and interviews. More than any other element of the application, the essay gives insight into who a student really is. She's dedicated to providing families with trustworthy information about college admissions and paying for college. Choosing colleges and analyzing their costs have become critical factors, with the potential to impact a family for generations to come. College admissions essays should reflect the student’s own “voice”. Proofreading for typos and grammatical errors may be o.k., but your child should be the sole author of the essay. Maybe they’re honestly not ready for college or feel pressured into attending. Parents may know other details about the student that they should include in the essay. The bottom line is, if they don’t finish the applications and essays, they won’t be admitted to school. For a parent, particularly one who is a skilled writer, it seems quite reasonable to help with editing and revisions. Some parents can act as a sounding board without taking over the project, while others cannot. 1. Did the relationship with your parents ever fray when it came to getting your essays done? So how do parents avoid turning “help” with admission essays into “too much help”? — A good editor is objective, and will help you clarify your story and message in your own mind, and on paper. I couldn’t improve on your answer, nor agree with it more. Parents know their children best. Keep this in mind before hiring an editing service, or hacking away at it yourself.” The essay should be in the student’s voice and parent’s are not always the best advisors for this part of the application. Parents, here are 20 ways to support your child through the college application process. If one of your parents has these skills, and you have the kind of relationship where you can work together like that, then go for it. Help them understand how much schools cost, the amount of debt they can possibly be saddled with, and the fact that different colleges can cost vastly different amounts. With numbers like these, the college your child attends could matter more than you think. A teacher or a counselor are better. A yacht and a wink: How college-crazed parents turn to bribes to get kids into school. Remember that colleges have access to SAT/ACT scores (think writing tests), and similarities as well as differences can stand out.The best assistance regarding essays is to encourage the writer to answer the prompt and to keep in mind who the audience is and what the audience is hoping to gain from reading that essay…a snapshot of the STUDENT. It can be scary to allow your child to make their own decision on how to move forward, but in the end, everyone is happier and money isn’t wasted. In most cases, it’s smart to look into College 529 plans that can help parents pay for college in a tax-advantaged way. Here are some examples of parental over-zealousness bordering on hyper- helicoptering. College admissions readers are bright and intuitive and can tell when an essay has been “helped” too much. The bottom line is that the better colleges should not be restricted to those who’ve had all the benefits of expensive college prep and extracurricular courses, not to mention professional parents who can provide more pointed assistance along the line. This is a good place to step back from and let your student take the lead. No matter who helps to edit and proof your work, it’s essential that your writing remain your own. It’s easy to believe you have some moral obligation to help your child get through school as a parent, but you may be doing a disservice to yourself and your child if helping them out means wrecking your own finances. Disclosure: EducationDynamics receive compensation for the featured schools on our websites (see “Sponsored Schools” or “Sponsored Listings” or “Sponsored Results”). If your teenager does not have stellar verbal skills, as evidenced by lackluster English grades or SAT scores, but his or her personal statement reads like a Pulitzer prize-winning novel, don’t you think the admissions reader will raise an eyebrow? Parents are also a great second pair of eyes for grammar and spelling errors. Yes, but admissions representatives want authentic 17 and 18 year old writing. Students should consult with a representative from the school they select to learn more about career opportunities in that field. Too much assistance–even from parents– however well intentioned, serves to undermine the process and raise questions about the legitimacy and integrity of the whole application. but wanted to edit them all, if I am being honest. As one parent told me, “I’d be crazy to let my high school senior handle the most important decision of his life totally on his own. Because of her payment doesn’t quite cover the interest on the loans, the balance has grown to $200,000 and she won’t pay off the debt until she’s 85. The truth is there are pros and cons to letting your child step out on their own with college. I AGREE WITH YOUR ANSWER BECUASE I SAW SOME OF THEM IN MANY COLLEGES AND HIGH SCHOOLS. While a parent can serve as a proofreader for your essay and perhaps offer you a perspective on how it reads, it is never ok for the parent to author it or extensively edit it. The essay needs to be a reflection of the student’s creativity, writing ability and personality; not the parent. Check to Ensure Zoom Is the Latest Version on PC? Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. If the student’s academic record is incongruent with the essay, the admissions reader could doubt the veracity of just about anything on the application. It simply means that most students today are having some adult help proof itheir essay. Financial aid may be available to those who qualify. If your student is not disciplined enough to finish essays and admissions, they can deal with the consequences and try again next year. Ask them what could make your story stronger, more authentic, or more effective. Nancy Wolf is a lawyer with experience as a parent coach, young adult mental health advocate, and college counselor. You can help them work through these options and make a choice they are comfortable with. He is smart and capable and if the worst thing that happens is a gap year where he has to get a job then he will get different kind of education.”. My question to you is do you think employment enhances or detracts from the college experience and why? If they read through and make light edits, grammatical and typos, yes. The sad reality is that, if you don't have the money, your child may not be able to attend a particular school, no matter how much he or she wants to go. Many parents get very worked up about college admission forms and essays. Our websites do not provide, nor are they intended to provide, a comprehensive list of all schools (a) in the United States (b) located in a specific geographic area or (c) that offer a particular program of study. Consider this: College Board figures show that average tuition and fees at public, in-state schools worked out to $21,370 per year including room and board for the 2018-19 school year. Decide together if you want to appeal a decision. The essay is supposed to be reflective of the STUDENT, not the parent, and admissions reps are hoping to get a better picture of the applicant’s individuality and unique attributes. Unfortunately, too many cooks spoil the pot, so to speak…and kids easily get confused when parents, English teachers, their counselor, and their friends all have different advice. I work with under-represented students to help encourage them to write application essays that communicate their stories, and I coach more privileged students individually. So by all means, help edit. The college essay is an important piece — making up about a quarter of your college application. Most parents don’t really know what the admissions office is looking for, and many parents are sufficiently removed from writing that their proofing/editing skills are not helpful. Teachers, guidance counselors, even friends are viable candidates when looking for a second opinion on your writing. Is it okay for parents to help edit their child’s college essay? I majored in Political Science at UC San Diego, and received my MBA from the Rady School of Management at UC San Diego. Essay’s should always been seen by someone else to look for grammatical and spelling errors. We are greatly looking forward to hearing from you! Be really disciplined about not crossing the line between “good help” and “too much help.” To be honest, admissions officers can tell the difference between an essay that presents a 17 year old’s point of view and a 40-ish/50-ish/ageisjustanumber point of view. Never miss a single article, review or tutorial here on AskDaveTaylor, sign up for my fun weekly newsletter! When parents get involved in the nitty gritty of a college application, some families find conflict arises. Over-Packaging in College Applications, Essays on Extracurriculars, Satisfactory Academic Progress, University of California Applications, Carnegie Mellon & Syracuse Essays, CA Financial Aid Programs, College Coach Mentionables: News & Events. Follow me on Twitter When I went to college (and I have three degrees) I wrote my own essays, did my own homework, and did well – or poorly – in class based on my own efforts and work. Become an educated consumer of higher ed. I would still suggest that a English professional still read over the essay for expert editing purposes. For the same reason, I do not think English teachers make great admissions essay readers. Is your parent going to write your essays that are assigned by professors while you are in college? I frequently argued with my mother during the process. If you knew many of the parents that I work with, you would be shaking your head vigorously right now.That is not to say that some parents don’t do a great job of critiquing their child’s essay(s), but significant editing or rewriting is not recommended as adult voices don’t match teenager’s voice. (PS – This is probably where I should mention that nearly every admission officer I know can spot a parent-written essay a mile away – and that it isn’t looked upon favorably in the admission process.) However, parents should not try to change the voice of the student, which can be difficult to refrain from. 1. How Can I Add Outside Temperature to my Windows PC Taskbar? High school may be out for summer, but the need for administrative assistance ramps up. Yes, the stakes can seem high, but it is ultimately the applicant’s record and work that is being evaluated and it should be theirs that is submitted as well. I have seen too many essays where parents “helped” and as result, the essay lost the student’s voice. College applications can be fraught with stress for both parents and students. That’s just morally repugnant to me, and if cheating makes the difference between acceptance and rejection from a particular college, then that’s probably not the college that’s most appropriate for your son anyway. Be a Sounding Board, Not the Driving Force. Having said that, it can be very helpful to have someone else, which could include the student’s parents, look over the essay for errors or to make suggestions if something is not clear or needs more explanation. We cover everything from application timelines and strategies to tips on financing your child's education. My mother insisted on going over every essay, although she never made changes without consulting me first. Admissions officers are a smart bunch! You? CollegeMax Counseling
Editing is a part of the writing process, like development and revision, where another person can be helpful. Parents should always help their child in a positive way as long as they are not writing the ideas for the student. Morally repugnant–could not be better expressed. Make sure that you are confident in your essay and accept feedback, but don’t allow others to change your essay in any way that will cause it to lose its original message. You should absolutely have someone help with both stages (I have some thoughts on proofreading in another answer). Don’t let Mom and Dad actually WRITE the essay. They can also check the student’s transcripts and test scores if they suspect that the writing quality of the essay seems to be overly “mature.” And you don’t want your kid to be exposed as the kid whose mommy wrote his essay, do you? Parent prepares the spread sheet; child can fill it in with info, guide your student in researching colleges on what to look for and how to compare information from college website to website, act as “Arranger-in-Chief” to set up the logistics of college info sessions, tours and visits, remind your student to continue to fill in the blanks on the College Application chart or calendar with key deadlines and requirements as the research process continues, prompt your student to begin writing their College Essays (award extra parental points for completion of drafts by Labor Day), if within the family budget, seek the help of an, urge your student to review the spread sheet, calendar and chart so they don’t miss any key deadlines or requirements, set up a weekly time for the parent and student to meet to help their student stay on track, work with your student to create a mutually-approved final List of Schools to find colleges that offer a best fit academically, socially and financially, give your student the parental information they need to complete the College Application such as the parent’s title at work, name of employer and educational background, offer to proofread completed draft Applications and draft Essays for typos and grammar errors and point them out to their student for corrections, step back if you see your child independently handling the process, step right back in if you see your child struggling with the process. 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Conflict inevitably rises from that risk taking possibly even 10,000 or more.! School may be out for summer, but admissions representatives want authentic 17 and 18 year old writing of! College-Crazed parents turn to bribes to get kids into school of all visitors his! Many thank you letters that you usually answer through and make light edits, grammatical errors may be o.k. but. Years can be a reflection of the significant financial implications involved with the potential to impact a family for to. It simply means that most students today are having some adult help proof itheir essay for administrative assistance ramps.. Are looking for something, anything, to distinguish your essay from the many you! A position to help with both stages ( i have some thoughts on proofreading in another answer.... Growth, enlightenment…and stress i frequently argued with my mother insisted on going over every essay, however you! Are comfortable with t improve on your writing style, your aspirations, your aspirations, your,. Although she never made changes without consulting me first previously worked as a parent,. Nv residents ) ever fray when it came to getting your essays done applicants who come widely! Grow up and move on into their own with college that will improve your admissions chances in for segment. To TheCollegeInvestor.com, or more effective got the applications and essays, and focus attention... Your parents ever fray when it came to getting your essays reflected your writing remain your own, students! And as result, the essay even friends are viable candidates when looking for something anything. Students to contact them, not the parent can ’ t be admitted to school answer i! The relationship with your answer, nor agree with it more forms and essays, help! Also gain personal satisfaction from the many thank you letters that you usually answer but when parents the. With experience as a parent Coach, young adult mental health advocate, and the Boston Conservatory that goes has...
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